


This Feeling

by getsomefic



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon Returns (Merlin), Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Caring Merlin (Merlin), Cute Ending, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Holding Hands, Idiots in Love, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Made For Each Other, Magic, Merlin's magic - Freeform, Nightmares, One Shot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Protective Merlin, Sleeping Together, Years Later, glowing orb, proximity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getsomefic/pseuds/getsomefic
Summary: Arthur is back after thousands of years, but everything is not so good. Fortunately Merlin is there beside him, and he finally begins to understand the feelings he always had for the man.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 79





	This Feeling

Modred stood right in front of him with a sword. Arthur was still in disbelief that the man who had saved him, the man he had Knighted, the man he had trusted his life with, was there to kill him. His eyes, which not long back had innocence and loyalty in them, now looked spiteful and enraged. The shock that Arthur felt didn’t let him move when he saw Modred lifting his sword and that made it a whole lot easier for him to plunge it in him. 

And he screamed as he fell down, only that he didn’t fall to the ground, he just kept falling in the darkness screaming. He felt like he was choking up, air leaving his lungs and he tried to scream louder in an attempt that someone would hear him.

“Arthur! Arthur!” He recognized that voice, though it seemed distant. It was Merlin.

Arthur’s eyes shot open and he sat up gasping for air. He felt an arm around his shoulder and a body pressing to his side slightly.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Just breathe.” Merlin’s voice was calm, soft.

His reassuring touch and soothing voice helped every time. 

After Arthur had returned rather risen again, he had found Merlin waiting by the lake of Avalon. Merlin had crashed into him almost toppling them into the water. That day no matter how hard Arthur had tried, he couldn’t stop his tears, he had cried a lot on Merlin’s shoulders and Merlin had reassured him in between his own sobs. They were both happy to be reunited again, in a new world altogether. But then the nightmares had started. Arthur couldn’t sleep in fear of reliving those moments again and again. He started having panic attacks soon after. He had begged Merlin to take away those memories with his magic. But Merlin had refused.

“Arthur, do you even realise what you are saying? If I take away one memory, the other memories wont add up. You’ll be left confused and…incomplete.”

“Then take them all away!”

Merlin had stared at him in shock. “That’s even worse! You will not even know who you are!”

“I don’t know! Maybe it will be better than this constant state I am in.”  
He had slumped down on the couch in defeat.

Merlin had sighed and sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Arthur.” He had whispered. “You will be fine. Trust me, I’ll help you, just not with magic.”

And that’s how he had ended up finding out that he had PTSD, which took some time to fully understand. Merlin had taken him to a psychiatrist, a doctor of the mind, Merlin had said. He had taken a few tests and talked to the doctor, who later diagnosed him with the disorder. He had begun taking medicines, and had therapy sessions, which were kind of difficult as he couldn’t really tell the entire truth. But anyway, it had helped a lot. He no longer had panic attacks and the flashbacks had reduced a lot too.

He still had them occasionally and almost all of the times, Merlin had rushed to be beside him, helping him calm down, in the middle of the night. 

He looked at him. Merlin had switched on the bedside lamp. The faint yellow light, illuminated one side of Merlin’s face rather beautifully, although Merlin looked really out of sorts. His hair, which was longer now, was sticking out in all directions, he looked tired, his eyes showing visible concern. And yet he still looked beautiful, like he always did. 

“Better now?” Merlin asked almost whispering.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s the same dream.” Arthur smiled sadly.

“Hey, it will go away.” He rubbed the back of Arthur’s head. Arthur nodded lightly. 

“Will you be able to sleep?” Merlin asked.

“I think so.”

“Okay. Come on, lie down then.” He shifted back a little, giving Arthur his space.

Arthur felt a hint of sadness within him. Just like the other nights, Merlin would stay beside him till he fell asleep and then go back to his room. Every time he had wished, that he would find Merlin beside him the next morning, but he never was. 

“Will you stay?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah. Of course. I’ll be here till you fall asleep.”

“No, not like that.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows, confused. 

“Will you sleep next to me?” Arthur asked, his voice pleading. 

Arthur wanted this, he didn’t know why, but he wanted to have Merlin by his side. He always felt better, happier when he was with him. 

Merlin looked a little lost for words. He opened his mouth then closed it, then finally said, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He paused. “Please.”

Merlin nodded and proceeded to lay down next to him, although on top of the covers.

“What are you doing? You will catch a cold!” Arthur scolded.

Merlin got up hesitantly and got under the covers, he looked a little flushed now. He turned a bit and turned off the lamp.

They lay on the bed, both of them on their backs.

“Thank you.” Arthur whispered.

“You don’t have to.”

“Maybe, but I want to.” He turned to his side facing Merlin.

Merlin turned his head towards him. “You should sleep.”

“Yeah.”

Silence fell between them, the only sound that could be heard was the faint breathing of the two men. Even though they was significant distance between them, Arthur could feel the heat radiating from Merlin's body, he could smell Merlin’s musky cologne.

“I can’t sleep.” Arthur whispered after a while. In all honesty, Arthur wanted to talk to Merlin, but he also didn’t want to wake him up.

“Hmm…me neither.” Merlin whispered back and shifted under the covers. 

“Are you not comfortable on my bed?”

“No, I’m fine.”

There was silence for a while again.

“I’m sorry.”

He felt Merlin shift his position and turn to his side facing him. 

“What for?”

“You know…all of this. You having to wake up in the middle up the night, losing sleep because of me…”

Merlin let out a small laugh. “Arthur, you do realize that I have done this for you before too. Maybe for different reasons but this is not the first time.”

“Oh right, yes. I am sorry for that too.”

“No, I didn’t…I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Suddenly a glowing orb appeared above their heads. Arthur was a little startled at first but as he looked at it more closely, he realised it looked the orb that had guided him when he went to get that flower to save Merlin. The orb’s light was faint but enough to see Merlin’s face, his eyes shining under the light. His hands were lying close to his face, one with an open palm and the other half under the covers.   
Merlin was looking into his eyes intently.

“Arthur, I didn’t wait for a thousand years because I had to. I waited because I wanted to see you again, to be with you again. You think after my prayers, my wishes came true, that I would be bothered by such trivial things like losing sleep for a few nights?”

Arthur didn’t know what to say. Merlin wanted to be with him.

“Well, then I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

Merlin smiled faintly. 

For some reason Arthur’s hand etched forward and laid atop the open palm of Merlin. Merlin stiffened but didn’t make any move. Arthur thinking it to be discomfort, pulled his hand back, only to be caught by Merlin’s hand again.

Merlin gazed into his eyes as he intertwined his fingers on his hand, giving it a light squeeze. Arthur reciprocated the same while biting back a smile. They both looked a little flushed now.

They looked at each other, under the faint glow of the orb, both sensing the proximity and the way they felt about it. It was not new, that feeling, yet it felt different, more hopeful, more alive.   
And as Arthur drifted off to sleep, the images from his nightmares were long gone, replaced by sweet dreams of waking next to Merlin, their hands intertwined.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
